Waiting in the LINE at the DMV

Good God I have been here for nearly 1.5 hours. Right now #G239 is being served and I am #G282. That’s 43 more people to go IF no F numbers are recalled. I’m just here to replace an ID.

Incidentally, I now finally have my phone. It is a used iPhone 8, I got a little overexcited because it came in a box for the iPhone X. Right now it is at 9% and it was at 33% I am hoping the battery life is decent, the one on my old 7 plus was great iirc.

Back to the DMV: currently serving #F066, f***.

By the time I’m now posting this #G245 is being served. This is bosh! Also, my phone is at 3% and so far the battery life is disappointing.


Wealthy in Food Stamps

Despite not currently having a phone, I recently renewed my EBT card with food stamps and cash benefits. I hadn’t used it in a year, and while the cash was expunged for overpayment, I still received a little over $1700 in food stamps. This makes things very easy for me, I wonder how long it will last! I have this wealth, plus enough for cigarettes, am productive recently, and will be obtaining a used iPhone 8 sent in the mail.


Phoneless Man’s Status

Procrastinating…f Phone didn’t come in the mail this week. Making a lot of MUSIC, with FL Studio, I’m getting better at this. Must continue downloading random free samples. Made quick mandala recently, originally drafted on a sticky note looking better than the reproduction in my composition book. “Autodrawing,” it looks like a snowflake with a bowling ball face. Snowflake? I dreamed the other day about “snow lost.” I was shaving off snowflakes from a miniature snowflake garden (like the Zen sand gardens) singing “snow lost, snow lost” as a girl hums pleasantly corresponding to the singing as I wake up…

Sick AF on Sunday, Strange Dream, Truvia Sweetener!

Written yesterday.

Ah! Saturday night I thought I just had a bad cough from smoking cigarettes. When I was not able to eat Sunday I realized I was sick. When I laid back down and slept all day with an acute headache, feeling both hot and cold, I realized was very sick. I slept through Saturday night, Sunday day, Sunday night, and most of Monday and Monday night. That is a lot of sleep. I had a strange continuous dream on Sunday, the day I was most sick. I dreamed that my bed covers were akin to a chess board, and also that they were like pages of a very large tome gently flipping over me. For a moment it felt like a book on chess, at another it felt like the C.G Jung autobiography, the contents were being imprinted into my consciousness… Monday day comes and I’m still sick but better, much less a cough, prim enough to write this. My appetite has been low, all I have eaten today [now yesterday] was pop-tarts for breakfast. Coincidentally, a housemate gave me some “Truvia” sweetener for my tea. Some kind of stevia and something else that begins with an E (Erythritol), it is a coincidence because I heard some [friends of mine] talking about it in a chat shortly before…

So long to the Holidays

“So long to the Holidays,” that is the name of a song by Ugly Casanova. As it is Valentines day, it is an apt song to listen to especially after hearing a song that struck me reminiscent of that childhood band. Here in the Starbucks at Target, I stepped away to use the restroom and heard a familiar lyric I recognized as a lyric from Ugly Casanova’s “Hotcha Girls.” I was right after a quick search in Google revealed a Reddit post “New Toro Y Moi song contains Ugly Casanova lyrics!”

Well here I am, an isolated Valentines Day, and in spite of a rather embarrassing previous post from years ago (a “Love Letter” written during a DXM trip) I have decided to take up blogging once again. Anticipating this.


To My Love

Hello you, I hope you know who you are. This is me. I have a confession to make. Well, here it goes. I have fallen in love with you. Maybe I can get to you in this message. Nobody will know about this really, except for random people on the internet. L ❤ This is kind of a freestyle love letter so… yeah. This may be a long shot, I’ve written letters like these before to people in my past and people think I’m just making a big joke but I was always sincere. It’s been about a year since I went completely crazy, things are finally starting to calm down and I’m getting back to my old self. Well, truth is, I see a lot in you L, you’re very smart. And it’s also been about a year since that night. I was tripping really hard that night. You told me not to tell anyone about it on facebook when I already told the person who I thought was my closest friend at the time. But truth is, I didn’t really tell anyone about what happened (in my world) that night. I was very attracted to you, and still am. Pineapple… I don’t know how to coherently explain the pomegranate that I go through. But that night is the night I think my third eye opened. It’s hard to explain. I had been listening to a lot of zen Buddhism seminars at the time and had been doing lots of Kundalini Yoga. That night was an experience like none I’ve ever had. I would’ve totally had sex with you if I had a condom, sorry… but if you don’t want sex then I respect that and will continue to love you. I have fear, fear of losing people that I am consciously attracted to, you’re one of those people. I felt like I was on ecstasy when we got in bed. And I was tripping so hard that I thought I saw you shapeshift. It was beautiful, but I didn’t want to say anything. Anyways, what really got me that night was an out of body experience before I fell asleep. It was weird. Then, something really beautiful happened to me. It was so real, and I don’t even know how to put it words. But it was something like this.That night I could feel my inner vibration. And I saw that vibration. Also, it seemed like I saw your vibration too. And yours was that of an angel to me. One of our vibrations was a beautiful red, the other was a very beautiful yellow. Everything else was pitch black. And those vibrations became one. It was the best feeling I’ve ever had. I felt so much love coming through you. ❤ I love you very much, I just wanted you to know that. I fantasize about you sometimes. I never really had a girlfriend. I had some in middle school but I was too young then for those times to mean that much to me… Ugh… I feel like a child stuck in a man’s body. And nobody understands me. But I want you to see who I really am. And I want to see who you really are. I love you I love you I love you. ❤ I’ve also had a very meaningful dream that ended with you before that night. In the dream, I went to the pond by Steven’s house. Where I found a mushroom and ate it. Then I saw things like I was on shrooms, and it was spectacular. The dream ended with me going to your house. Where we played Nintendo 64 and Playstation. Then the dream became intimate and I woke up. That is one of my favorite dreams ever. I’m just going on and on aren’t I? Well I’ll try to end this soon. I love you ❤ I think you’re a very beautiful girl on the inside and out. And the love I have for the people I love is unconditional. So no matter what happens, I will always love you. Just wanted to get this out. Sorry if I’m a creep.

Love, Maximilian.

P.S: You mean a lot to me. I am very glad I met you Luis. I hope something good comes out of this.

P.S.S: Please don’t be afraid.

Love ya!

Dear Aids

Dear Aids,
You should make the rain go away. And move to antarctica. And sail ships on the moon. How often do suck up ramen noodles? ANywas, lets have a party where pirates open up their harts and fight ghosts witch pencils. The ocean is going to shake hands with your shitty fucking virus one day. I feel like there’s fiberglass deep within my blood cells, and im not talking about the white house. aDAM f and eve ate a snake of fruit of the root of science and became pure so god punished them for their hair. People with brown eyes can never cross the bridge to the other side, but if they reincarnate with a different eye color based on their deeds in a past life they can cros the bridge, by the way, if you tried to cross the bridge with brown eyes, you will burn to ashes.Yggdrasil is the biggest tree of chakra and chi and kundalini in the hole world, its roots are made up of snakes and dragons. and it has a bunch tongues with eyes on them. and its also the most efficient fastest best quickest ever calculator. You should do an exercise in kundalini yoga called sat kriya. You only have to do it for 3 minutes whenever you feel like it, and while you do you chant SAT NAM, which rhymes with butt mon. It means truth is my true identity. When you do it you have your arms up, your head in gelenderbum so you can feel slight pulling on the back of your neck. as you say Sat, pull in your naval and bring the energy of the universe up through your spine and out your third eye. also, you have tense your back muscles and pull up on your anus muscles. You can do sat kriya as long as you want. after you do it, it is very important to rest for as long as you did or as twice as long as you did so you can stay grounded and integrate your energies through your concsciousness. Also, at the end of the exercise it is very important to imagine channeling the energy up from the base of your spine out through your crown chakra and/or the spirals at the top of your head. then gently sweep your hands through your aura and proceed with your eyes closed and start to rest. all the time while you’re doing this you have to focus you’re eyesight on your third eye chakra, which is the point in between your brows. you will feel a coil like a snake going up your back three times. There’s a video that shows how to do this exercise i’ll link it to you.

Fuck Off Aids, Love, Tomasz